Kurt Hummel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
showbizpanache) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ataraxionlogs2012-10-23 12:23 am
showbizpanache) wrote in ataraxionlogs2012-10-23 12:23 am
Entry tags:
Regrets collect like old friends. [CLOSED]
CHARACTERS: John and Kurt
LOCATION: Kurt's place!
WARNINGS: Mentions of infidelity? And feelings.
SUMMARY: Kurt and John hang out in the aftermath of the Silent Hill event and Kurt's canon update of horror and despair.
After the jump Kurt couldn't talk to John, couldn't even bear to see his face--and as cruel as that sounded, it was all because of fear. Kurt had taken his heart and put it somewhere deeply hidden, protected, and he couldn't risk it breaking again for fear that it wouldn't bear the damage anymore. That was why he'd been reluctant at first to meet with John after he'd posted on the network--trying desperately to shield a heart too beaten from any more blows--though it had been too difficult to refuse in the end.
He'd just keep things casual and guarded, he decided; it wasn't that hard. If it got to be too much he'd just--
I don't know, he thought miserably. It was strange, how things like the maze and Strela and the mist had faded to a different part of his mind, one that firmly and staunchly protected his psyche from accepting any of it as real--and this betrayal, Blaine's betrayal, hurt more than any of that had. It was like taking the one golden, steadfast thing Kurt had to hold on to and brutally shattering it, breaking the dam to let everything else in.
Now he was just afraid of what was next.
He waited for John to arrive, idly fixing his appearance despite himself. It was easy to focus on how he looked, how he presented himself--much easier than dealing with the truth.
LOCATION: Kurt's place!
WARNINGS: Mentions of infidelity? And feelings.
SUMMARY: Kurt and John hang out in the aftermath of the Silent Hill event and Kurt's canon update of horror and despair.
After the jump Kurt couldn't talk to John, couldn't even bear to see his face--and as cruel as that sounded, it was all because of fear. Kurt had taken his heart and put it somewhere deeply hidden, protected, and he couldn't risk it breaking again for fear that it wouldn't bear the damage anymore. That was why he'd been reluctant at first to meet with John after he'd posted on the network--trying desperately to shield a heart too beaten from any more blows--though it had been too difficult to refuse in the end.
He'd just keep things casual and guarded, he decided; it wasn't that hard. If it got to be too much he'd just--
I don't know, he thought miserably. It was strange, how things like the maze and Strela and the mist had faded to a different part of his mind, one that firmly and staunchly protected his psyche from accepting any of it as real--and this betrayal, Blaine's betrayal, hurt more than any of that had. It was like taking the one golden, steadfast thing Kurt had to hold on to and brutally shattering it, breaking the dam to let everything else in.
Now he was just afraid of what was next.
He waited for John to arrive, idly fixing his appearance despite himself. It was easy to focus on how he looked, how he presented himself--much easier than dealing with the truth.