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CHARACTERS: Laughing Beauty and Alex Shepherd [closed]
LOCATION: SOMEWHERE in the hallways
WARNINGS: SERIOUSLY DEPRESSING SHIT IS BEING DISCUSSED HERE, mentions of violence, and generally pretty twisted stuff on both ends of the conversation. People have shitty lives in Konami canons, okay.
SUMMARY: LB runs into a wandering Alex in the hallways and it eventually leads to talking about their cruddy pasts.
NOTES: Amazingly, LB manages to keep all of her clothes on this time.

[With the network down, Laughing Beauty is even more bored than usual, and bored for her was never a good thing. There had only been a couple of times, aboard the Tranquility, that could match up to the tumultuous environment she was forced to adapt to before. While it was still unsettling, however, the network had provided enough of a distraction to keep her mind focused on issues that didn't involve her past.

As much as she had wished she could escape her life of constant battling before, the one thing it was good at was not giving her enough time to think about those kinds of issues. LB didn't like admitting it to herself, but sometimes she longed for that forced clarity in her mind. There weren't many she would admit it to, but sometimes battling felt so damned good, but it wasn't something she could do often here; LB had to find other ways to occupy her time.

Sometimes she stalked the corridors to get amusing reactions from people or sometimes she jogged around the ship to try to raise her stamina (in case she found herself having to run from monsters again), but now didn't seem to be a desirable time for either. On the other hand, she had sort of made a promise to Alex that she'd come visit him and for various reasons, she hadn't been visiting him as much as she should have been after the most recent jump. Maybe it was time to see how he was doing? It really was concerning that she hadn't heard from him in a while, after all.

So LB made her way down the hallway, past forty-four rooms to Alex's room and knocked, waiting with trepidation (she still wasn't completely used to this face-to-face social thing) for him to answer. When he didn't respond the first time, she knocks again, muttering a nervous giggle as she waited again. She frowns when it was obvious he wasn't going to answer. But... he probably wasn't ignoring her, right? He actually had a job on this ship, didn't he? Maybe he was just out. Yeah, he was probably just walking around somewhere. She did seem to have a knack for randomly running into him in various places, so it wouldn't hurt to look around, would it?

With her mind made up, she eventually lost track of the amount of time she spent wandering the halls, not realizing that she could have just used the communicator to contact him; she figured with the network down, it affected all communication. Regardless, she manages to find him in another hallway. If nothing else, his hairstyle made him fairly easy to spot. With a relieved smile, she doesn't immediately register his state of mind as she approached him.]

Ah! Heeheehee! There you are! [She heaves a heavy sigh before relaxing her shoulders back. However, when she takes a closer look at him, she tilts her head, concerned. Not quite sure how she should go about asking, she rubs the back of her neck nervously as she continues.] So - uh - how have you been holding up?

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[The problematic situations come and go, for him. Thanks to Murphy he'd gotten the mask far away from him, which was considerably helpful as it was. And then he had people roping him back in when he had those bouts of... well, Alex knows it's just bouts of insanity, or something equally shameful to say aloud. LB caught him in the middle of one—if he were all there right now, he'd think about how she always seems to catch him in the most undesired of times.

For now, he looks at her like he's contemplating her existence or not. Is she really there, or...? In one hand, he clutches a journal tightly; his old journal from Shepherd's Glen. There were still memos and maps in it, still the same old shit that he should've just airlocked when he had the chance.

Couldn't bring himself to do that.

Right now, LB is a figment of reality traveling along a slippery slope, because all he can think is where am I, how did I get here, who are you, and panic draws into his stare at last. It's muted and silent, but it's there.

He takes a step back. How far did he wander into the halls this time?

He swallows a lump in his throat, and with it, a piece of him returns.]

—LB, you're here?

[Son-of-a-bitch, I did it again. Again.'

God, he's not even sure what happened between here and his room. He looks at his journal in his hand, and then back at her, looking as lost as he sounds. But wait, she's probably wondering what the hell is up with him-]

I mean... hey. What're you doing out here...?

[Not that he doesn't expect her to ask that in return, but. Buying time to consider his life, at the moment, excuse him.]

[LB stares back at him for a few seconds, while he was getting his mind back in reality, before she felt like she was staring for perhaps too long and averts her gaze to his journal. To break up the awkward silence, she opens her mouth to ask about it, but closes it again when she sees his expression.

It was troubling, to say the least, because she was all too familiar with the sense of losing herself. Hell, she had herself convinced for four years that she was some sort of octopus of destruction. Being brought out of that suit was a disorienting process she was still trying to sort herself through.

When Alex finally speaks, LB blinks in a startled fashion. Once the question processes in her mind, her brow furrows in confusion. Of course she was here, being in the hallways wasn't that out of her reach, was it? But then again, she did remember him mentioning that he was afraid of "losing it". Was he having some sort of spell?]

Yeah, heheh. I'm here. [She gives a subdued smile, taking a step forward, tilting her head in a sort of shrug.] I went to go see you, but - ah - you weren't in your room.

[The corners of her mouth twitch into a broader smile, as she continues.] I guess I've always been better at finding you in random hallways anyway. But, anyway -- eeheehee -- what about you?

[LB looks over at his journal again, hesitating to ask about how he was doing.] Are you writing something?

Edited 2012-12-29 21:27 (UTC)

[He looks down at the journal, surprised to even have it with him in the first place. He realizes maybe he should answer the question though and hurries to look back to her.]

No--

It's just something from home.

[... Something hard to look at, but something he can't get rid of.

He tries for a honest smile, he really does. But it's a sad attempt. For a moment, he kinda' forgets that LB understood better than most, reasons he'd be out here, that he wasn't all there lately. Very few people knew the exact details--she knew enough to be reliable.]

Sorry, I was just... y'know. Taking a walk.

[But then, a quiet pause, and he shifts on his feet.

He suddenly remembers--the lockers, after the jump.

... right.]

... I guess I must've gotten confused again.

It must be important to you, if you carry it around like that.

[LB was still curious about it, but any questions she had about it drifted to the back of her mind as Alex started to look a little bewildered about the situation -- hell, there was a good chance he was bewildered about himself. While she still wasn't really sure of what the best way was to help someone out of the feeling; it was something easier said than done.

Eventually, she gives him a sympathetic glance, perhaps looking the slightest bit crestfallen that she wasn't able to prevent it from happening.]

Sorry -- haha -- guess I should have come by sooner, huh?

[Always the paranoid one, LB takes a look to each side of her, before continuing.]

I can walk you back, if you want. [She pauses, hesitating.] Maybe we can talk a little -- heeheehee -- if you think it'd make you feel a little better?

[He's definitely not the first person to go 'by all means, let's talk feelings', but he's gotten so much better here in this damned ship. Maybe because in a place like this, you gotta talk, or else you'll just lose it (like he's done twice now, imagine that). He hesitates on that offer.]

... Yeah.

That--sounds good.

[Talking. Walking. Both sound really good right now. He remembers the journal and quietly holds it up to look at, lips set in a neutral line.]

This is... sorta' important. I took this with me when I went through that fog world back home.

I tried to get rid of it, but... I think it'd be good. To keep.

[Her shoulders relax when he accepts her offer, relieved that she didn't have to try to think of another way to try to make him feel better. LB begins to turn around to walk, but pauses when Alex raises the journal, instead giving an inquisitive tilt of her head.]

Was it because you had no one to talk to there? Heeheehee?

[She had remembered what little he spoke of his past before and distinctly remembering that he had mentioned that most people, back in his world, didn't really trust to listen to him.]

I suppose it would be hard to get rid of something like that. [She frowns as an unpleasant thought passes, quickly glancing away.] Sometimes you want to forget shit like that, but you can't let go, no matter what.

... I had one person to talk to.

[At the end of the day, it was always Elle.

Though he wonders if she'll bother with him after all that... if she knew how fucked up he was, he wouldn't blame her if she turned and left... She'd done enough for him.

He lets the journal lower back down.]

I've tried to forget--you just... remember later, anyway. Except it's even more overwhelming and fucked up than before you forgot. [He's babbling, really, eyes averted from her and lost in other time.]

[LB's head turns thoughtfully as she brought up what she could remember in her head, about Alex's past.]

That person you saved before?

[She looks after Alex as he glances away, concerned about what he said. After a few seconds, the words seep into her head, bringing back memories of how she herself tried to cope with what she did -- what she was forced to do. But even if it was against of what she wanted to do, the truth behind it all was that she still did it. Even with the many ways she tried to delude herself of her past actions, LB still felt an overwhelming guilt over it.]

Yeah... eheheheh. Yeah.

[She walks with her head down for a short while, eventually giving a halfhearted shrug of her shoulders.]

If it makes you feel any better, though -- heeheehee -- I'm still pretty sure that you're a better person than I am.

[LB... he really won't ever consider you worse than him. Even if he knew the truth, he'd probably still think it. No, most-definitely, because he's a glutton for self-hate like that. Alex shakes his head, and despite the small smile he has, he's entirely certain and hardly joking when he replies.]

We can both be crappy people together, huh?

[Silence. He walks, words hard to find at first.

What to say]

She was the only real friend I had... I'd always wondered why she stuck around—I mean, I've never been the happiest kid out there. I don't know how she could stand being around that, after a while.

[But also, the fact that his father made him dead sure of the idea that he couldn't keep around decent friends. Or that he wasn't worthy of them. Whichever he convinced himself of first.]

[LB gives a lukewarm smile to his first comment, still sure that she was far worse of a person than he was. However, she wasn't going to make this some sort of awful person Olympics, so she mimics his pause, muttering a laugh as she listens to him.]

Well, maybe you weren't the happiest person -- heehee -- but she wouldn't have hung around you for no reason, right?

[Her smile spreads into something more genuine as she reaches out to grasp his shoulder.]

Maybe you're not as crappy as you think; I'm pretty sure that you're a better person than you give yourself credit for.

Not good enough. [he murmurs it, and wonders just why Elle did hang around him. Her mother may have been serious and didn't pay her much mind, but... coming around him meant awkwardly watching the Shepherd family--something no one should have to stick around for.

And then shit went to hell...

The hand touching his shoulder is welcomed, though; he doesn't shrug it off, or even so much as jump.]

... It's been a long time since I gave myself credit. I guess I just... lived in a place that didn't have a lot of credit to offer.

[LB's expression sobers at his last sentence.] Most places run low on it, it seems.

[Reaching some sort of unpleasant thought, her eyes anchor downward while her lips twitch into a melancholic smile.] Heheheh, or I guess I'm more used to the bad kind of credit.

[Being seemingly chosen at random as the "Devil's Child" was the kind of credit she never wanted placed on her shoulders; sometimes she wished that she were part of that unlucky crowd that was slaughtered. At least they didn't have to keep living with the memories of that day.

After another few moments of reflection, however, LB forces herself to put on a more cheery facade again. Alex didn't need to worry about her problems when she was trying her best to make him feel better. Even if she still felt she wasn't very good at that kind of thing.]

But, for what it's worth, I think you're great.

Edited 2013-01-11 05:05 (UTC)

[He looks back to the floor, because it's unfortunate, how many people lived in places like that, or had been used to that sort of miserable existence. There's a crooked smile, like someone who doesn't entirely believe in what they're told, which is accurate enough.]

Thanks...

Though--I don't think great people end up wandering around half-unconscious.

[He shakes his head.]

That mask really threw me off. I was doing better, but then... I guess I shouldn't be surprised. This ship likes to pull stuff on me when I start to think things are getting less crazy.

Well, I didn't say you were perfect. [She falls into a short pause and then continues in a worried manner, as if she were afraid of offending him somehow.] Not -- eheheh -- not that it's a bad thing! It's just people like us could never be perfect, even if it were possible.

[The bit about the mask gets her attention, as she was curious as to what the hell they were supposed to do anyway. Some people had mentioned that they had seen ghosts, however, and that was enough of a motivator for her not to give into her urges to test it out. The fear of confronting the ones that she murdered far outweighed any urges she had in her mind. Or at least for the time being.]

I heard some bad things about those masks -- heeheeheee -- seems like they could bring shit back from the past that I don't want to deal with.

[Concerned, LB turns her head to look over at him.] But you-- have you recovered from that, since then?

Y--

... Not really, no.

[Lying did jack shit.]

After the mask, I started... hearing things. Sometimes I forget where I am, what's happened--it's like the hospital all over again, and it scares the shit outta' me.

[LB didn't stay nearly long enough in a mental ward to know how it was really like; it was minds like hers that Outer Heaven was looking for, at the time. Still, she couldn't help but wonder exactly how someone like Alex wound up there in the first place.

She walks in silence, for a short way, glancing back at Alex as she contemplated whether or not she should ask what was on her mind or even if it was any of her business.]

Hey - uh - maybe it's not any of my business -- and that's okay, if you don't want to say anything about it -- but how did you wind up there, in the first place? Eeheeheehee? What pushed you over the edge?

...

It lot of things.

[He looks away, and for a moment he almost doesn't say a damn thing after that.

But LB already saw his world, so what was the point, shutting her out?]

It was my life, and how bad it was. I didn't have a good--childhood. After all that... when my brother died, I guess it was just... the thing that snapped me in half.

[he winces]

It was my fault my brother died... It'd been all my fault, and I couldn't handle it.

So I blocked everything out.

[When Alex admits to his guilt over his brother, LB frowns as her eyes widen worriedly. In a sort of instinctive move, she grips his shoulders again, this time with more of an urgency than before.]

It -- eheheh -- it wasn't your fault! I mean I don't know what happened exactly, but I'm - I'm sure you didn't intentionally do it.

[Not like she did.]

But... I know that's the kind of thing that gets in your head. [Sighing, she relaxes her hold on him, slumping her shoulders in the process.] It really is easier to forget -- hahaha -- to imagine yourself as something else entirely.

Doesn't matter if was intentional or not... I lost one of the only people who cared about me. I was reckless and-- [He stops himself, gritting his teeth; he hates himself for it. If some higher power came along and told him he deserved to die--slowly, painfully--for what happened to his brother, he'd quietly accept it.

It's harsh, but to him, it makes sense. It's amazing he's even been allowed this much--friends... 'family'.]

I wanted to forget what I'd done... I guess for a while, I did. By the first year in the hospital, they had me so doped up, there was no breaking out of whatever place I was in.

Their idea of 'fixing' me was frying my brain, I guess.

[Part of her still wanted to argue that he was still better off than her, but then she came from a place where she knew her family loved her; he mentioned that he didn't have very many people at all that cared about him. So while she still had a hard time placing herself in other people's shoes, LB could at least recognize that their situations may have been just as bad, in perspective.]

...sorry. [Specifically, she meant it toward her comment before, but it could apply to everything Alex just said too.] I-- I didn't mean to trivialize it, hahaha.

[She hesitates, walking in silence for a little while, before speaking up again.]

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to stay at the place they put me in -- heeheehee -- if they could have "fixed" me.

[LB then glances over, smiling weakly.] But maybe I wasn't missing much after all.

[He shakes his head.]

Only if you wanna be sad and fucked up in the head.

[a pause]

Truth is... they didn't give a damn about fixing me. It took a supernatural town dragging me back home for me to start getting better... how crappy is that?

[Her expression sobers at his first statement and she looks at him with a certain solemness, but decides against saying anything. The truth was that LB knew she already was sad and fucked up in the head, even if her particular quirk made it easy to cover the sad part of it pretty well. Bottom line, she wasn't really sure if anything could fuck her up much more than she was.]

Sounds kind of backwards, kind of fucked up. Haha... but at least you got out of there, right?

Sometimes, doing crazy things can temporarily make you feel better.

[Even if it's just the nanomachines giving you a kind of high, during combat, but whatever.]

Yeah... Didn't really matter much that I got out, though. When I went back home, all I found was a ghost town--and that's when I started learning about... y'know. all that cult stuff. [Bad things happen in packages. Big, awful ones that are covered in blood and cult symbols.]

[LB nods, remembering the one previous conversation they had on that topic.] But it at least did you the slightest bit of good, getting out and going back -- heheh -- from the sounds of it, your friend wouldn't have made it out without you. And because of you, they won't take anyone else. They can't fuck anyone else's life up anymore.

[A thought comes to mind, causing LB to turn her head toward him with a somber sort of smile.] That's why you'll always be a better person than I am.

[For how tired and achy his smile was, he still smiles regardless.]

Yeah, well... Give yourself more credit.

Whatever makes you say that—things from the past, they make you feel guilty and hurt, right? A bad person wouldn't give a damn like that. Or give a damn about some crazy guy in a hallway.

Alex...

[She appreciates everything he's telling her, really, but it still didn't hide the fact that she had so many skeletons in her closet that she wasn't telling anyone about, on the Tranquility. She had always assumed that she was better off if everyone didn't realize what kind of a person she really was, but was it fair to everyone else?]

I told you once that saving you was the one good thing I did in my life, right? It's-- it wasn't an exaggeration. It's practically the only thing you know about me, though, so your view of me is pretty skewed.

[LB stares at the floor as she falls into a short pause, hesitating on her next words before finally speaking them.]

Heheheh... you probably wouldn't think as favorably of me, if you knew the truth. But... you deserve to know, if you want to. I did a lot of fucked up shit, so if you'd rather not be burdened by the truth, that's fine too.

It's your choice.

[He's quiet for a moment, brow wrinkled as he considers her words.]

... Do you regret what you did? Does it make you hurt to think about—make you sad and feel like you don't deserve to live, after everything? Give you nightmares? Drive you crazy?

[That was a tricky question, considering everything she had done. It was true that she became the way she was today because of her guilt in slaughtering her family and friends, but when it was promised that she could be freed of this through killing another, she wasn't really that bothered to face several in battle to have a chance at that one, particular man.

However, for the latter, it was war; it was unavoidable that she would have to kill those who stood on the other end of the battlefield. So as she nodded solemnly at Alex's series of questions, she still felt it was the closest to truth she could manage without getting incredibly technical about it.]

... Yeah. Heeheehee, yeah. All the time... but I can't die! Hahaha! Not after... [Right, he hadn't said if he wanted to hear what she did or not, so LB lets out a loud exhale as her eyes momentarily shut as she tries to think of a way to make it a little more vague.] ...not after everything I had to do to stay alive.

... That's why I couldn't die either. I understand. Especially after this last visit from that town.

[He looks at her, careful, like he's reading her and figuring out what to say, what to do--he's never been... good at helping people. But he wants to try to help her, even if moments before it was her helping him.

He puts a hand carefully on her shoulder.]

As long as you feel that way... I don't care what happened in the past.

You don't have to be the person you were. You're already doing that--when you saved me back then, you started that. And now... when you're looking out for me.

[She looks over in surprise when she feels his hand on her, but doesn't look offended by the action. LB was still trying to figure out how her body's power worked, but she had at least figured that if it was the other person touching her, no harm would come to them. This was fine, maybe even a little... nice.

After a while, she manages a smile as she looks away from his hand, giving a short, half-amused exhale.]

The funny thing of it all is that I don't know what kind of person I am now, heheh.

[Still smiling, LB manages to glance up at his face.] At least I know that I don't want you to disappear.

[And hell, for her, that was saying something when she didn't typically concern herself for most of the others on this ship. A few more seconds pass, as she thinks about it, before she shakes her head.]

I'm supposed to be looking after you and I kind of unloaded my problems on you instead... eheheh, sorry...

Nah, don't sweat it... We crazies have to look out for each other, right?

[Because what else could they do? They were on a roller coaster with no emergency stop.]

... I'm too used to people disappearing. If I could stop it—

[He sighs, dropping his hand, shaking his head.]

Maybe it's divine punishment. I don't know. I guess I deserve it, but... I don't want to see so many people get hurt or lost. Or die. Back home was bad enough.

I guess so.

[Her smile broadens, for a brief moment, as she makes a sound that sounds like a halfhearted laugh. For all the people aboard this ship, LB was doubtful that there were anyone more more issues than the two of them. Granted, she also didn't know many people here that well either. It was easier, when it was an inevitability that people were going to disappear, no matter what. Not to mention LB was still convinced that anyone she got too attached to was eventually going to have something bad happen to them, because that's what always seemed to happen, in her life.

She stares at his hand, as it slides off her shoulder, frowning as he continues to talk.]

Whatever it is, it's not "divine", heheheh. I refuse to believe that there's some "higher power" up there, it's just not possible. [After the shit she went through, the idea that some god was actually angry at her family for eating seafood kind of turned her off from the whole religion thing.] It's just... it's just that fucked up things keep happening to us, I guess. I wish I knew how to make it stop, but it's not that easy.

And hey-- [LB reaches out, cupping a hand against Alex's cheek, as she wanted to make sure he was especially paying attention to what she was about to say.] --as capable as you are, not even you can save everybody. Hell, I can't save everybody. We're not some sort of "superhero"; the best we can do is keep ourselves safe, right?

[Suddenly, a depressing thought goes through her head, which makes her lose her momentum in that pep talk, of sorts. Lowering her hand, she looks forward with a blank expression.]

I... might not be around forever. It seems to happen here a lot -- people disappearing without a trace, after jumps. [While she was sure that he could take care of himself, LB still worried a lot more about Alex than she was willing to admit.] So don't blame yourself if something ever happens to me -- heeheehee -- just take care of yourself, okay?

[He listens. God, he does. And he hates it.

He understands, but he hates it.]

... I'd rather take care of everyone else. Me—I don't matter, not when it comes to making sure you're all okay. [He shakes his head.] If I didn't have everyone here with me... I mean, if they ever vanished, I don't know what I'd...

[it's too awful to consider, but... he remembers annie

remembers how she died by her own hand]

You guys are the reason I'm still alive here.

[Maybe back home, if he were alone, he could handle it longer. But on a ship like this? No, he needs them. He needs them to live, goddammit.]

You matter to me, though.

[As soon as she says that, LB feels her face flush a little, feeling as if she said something a little too revealing. Not really having any friends for as long as she did, she still wasn't really sure how one was supposed to deal with them. Her lips tighten awkwardly as one of her hands reaches to twirl one of her many cords in her fingers. Oh dear, it was time to change the subject quickly.

Although that meant stammering just about everything that came to mind at once.]

But, ah... um... I guess the only thing you can do is make yourself stronger, right? Not-- not that it's easy, because there's not really much to fight around here, right? Hahahaha... I almost think that I'm getting rusty, because most things are relatively peaceful here. I almost miss that guy who attacked me once.

[Right, right, she was making herself sound like even more of an idiot. After a heavy sigh, she continues in a more calm manner.]

But... yeah. It's a pretty big responsibility to have to look over that many people, isn't it?

[His eyes widen a bit at the reply--it's sad that even now, Alex still has a hard time realizing and understanding that people want him around. Alive. Himself. It--is a good feeling. One he's not accustomed to, that makes him feel a little guilty; after all, does he have a right to feel that way? Maybe he did once upon a time, but then... his mistakes have thrown a kink into things.]

Ah--yeah. It can be a big responsibility, I guess. But they look after me, too, so... I guess it's just returning the favor. And it makes me feel better... about what I'd done, kinda like a way to get some weird redemption. I guess that's pretty stupid to think, I don't know.

[He smiles a little, turning to look down the hall like his next reply is no big deal.]

... but then I like to protect the people who matter to me. If I could keep you and the others safe, I'd be happy.

I don't think it sounds stupid at all -- heheheh -- if that's what makes you feel better, then you should keep doing it. There's-- a lot worse and weirder things that people do to get "redemption", you know.

[Like herself. Even if killing an unrelated man to feel better again didn't make a lot of sense to her now, if she ever saw that person again, she would still try to kill him. She was that desperate to be "normal" again.

LB looks to be deep in thought about this, for a little while, but then sighs before continuing.]

Again, just as long as you keep yourself safe.

[She turns her head to look over at him briefly, blinking in surprise that he included her in the list of the many people that he would protect. Maybe it should have been a given, but she was more used to being on her own for several years. Not that she was about to start depending on someone else to keep her alive, but the gesture still felt nice.]

You don't need to, but... thanks, Alex.

I do. If I can't keep anyone safe... I think I'd probably just start losing my mind all over again. [He scoffs at himself.] I've never been very good at it, but... If I don't at least try now, I'll regret it for as long as I'm alive.

[He nods.]

Ah--right. You need anybody to... walk back with you?

[As an unspoken apology for you having to come find his crazy ass, anyway.]

Oh... [Well, she didn't want him to start wandering off to dangerous places again. LB supposed her own method of coping usually meant getting herself into a fight, so she really couldn't nag Alex too hard about this.] Just keep making yourself stronger, then, and you won't have to regret anything at all.

[His offer catches her off-guard again, causing her to slant her head toward him as she considered it. On one hand, he was only about forty rooms away from her, and she had more than enough experience of being sneaky through hallways anyway. On the other, she never had anyone to offer to walk with her ever. Even if it was a short distance, the idea of it was appealing.]

Oh, uh... sure! It's not a long distance away, and I don't want to inconvenience you, if you just want to go relax in your room, but -- eheheh -- if you want to, that's fine.

[He smiles, a little more genuine. Hell, he even half-laughs.]

Please, I inconvenience myself.

The hallways are just kinda' lonely, y'know? Maybe the company'll do us both good, even just for a little while... I mean--you're keeping my head on straight right now, so I'd be more than happy to walk next to you.

[LB smirks knowingly at his first comment.]

Heehee! Just keep in mind that you were the one to say it, not me!

But, yes... I think you're right. Even for as often as I find myself wandering around these corridors -- heheh -- sometimes-- sometimes it does get a little lonely.

[She exhales loudly, continuing.] I guess, in a way, it keeps my head on straight too.

[Talking to Alex made her feel a little less like a freak, because she could relate to someone beyond being good at fighting -- something she more or less gave up on before. She was still certain that he was by far the better person, but she was okay with that.

Worried that she was starting to steer the conversation in a more depressing direction, however, she was quick to add in something a little more lighthearted.]

At the very least, I'm glad I don't smell bad enough to scare you away, haha!

[He nods, and smiles when he walks beside her—and he lets that calmness sink in, and honestly, it helps keep him from toeing that dangerous line of insanity again. It's so much easier to deal with yourself when... well, when you're not—just you, alone, on your own.

He wonders how often LB had been alone like that, too.]

And hey, uh... If you ever have a time where you gotta get anything off your chest--like, if anything's bothering you, I'm always around to talk about it.

If you ever wanted to.

I told you before... my past wasn't a happy one. Heheheh... it's really fucked up. I've got a lot of skeletons in my closet; I wouldn't want my problems to be a burden on you.

[Because dealing with other people's problems were way easier than dealing with her own. As it was, she figured that Alex didn't need any more problems to worry about, as hypocritical as the thought was.

Still, she looks back at him in appreciation.]

You're kind to offer though, thanks.

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