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CHARACTERS: Ianto Jones, OPEN
LOCATION: The Gardens
WARNINGS: Minor depictions of PTSD and Stockholm Syndrome, mentions of physical and mental abuse, cannibalism and body horror
SUMMARY: Ianto is back on the TQ, only a little worse for wear physically after the rescue team stormed Melkor's base. Now he has to work through the mental and emotional aftermath.
NOTES: Responses may be from both Ianto and Jack. Former captives are especially welcome!

They've temporarily relocated to the gardens, he and Jack. On finally returning to the Tranquility, Ianto had surprised even himself by nearly panicking at the enclosed dimness of their quarters. He'd insisted on checking on Myfanwy in a way that had fooled absolutely no one, especially not Jack, and they'd headed to the gardens immediately. Ianto had needed the light, the open brightness.

His wrists and neck are still chafed and sore, bite marks having broken open the skin around his wrists where he'd tried to chew through his bonds. He'd refused to go to the medbay and have it all bandaged; he didn't need medical attention, not like the others did. Jack had ultimately insisted on bandaging it all himself and Ianto had acquiesced.

He keeps close to Jack at all times, partially out of an unspoken fear that they'll be forcefully parted again, partially because he knows Jack can't be as alright as he's pretending to be, not after what Melkor did to him.

And that, he thinks, is his fault too. A lot of things are his fault. The worst of it is that there's some small part of him that feels bad for betraying Melkor. And that's crazy, it's some kind of bizarre misplaced sympathy, but knowing that doesn't help get rid of it.

As he recalls the almost crazed need he'd had to get back to the Tranquility, he wonders what else has been done to his mind.

CHARACTERS: Godric, Eric, Thranduil, Seraphim, generally OPEN to garden inhabitants
LOCATION: The Gardens
WARNINGS: Depictions and mentions of mental and emotional trauma
SUMMARY: Godric set out to rescue his progeny and his bonded from Melkor, and now they're back safely if not entirely alright. Torn between keeping an eye on both, he's brought Seraphim to the gardens to stay with them.
NOTES:

[A] Being torn between two bonds is something that can fray the nerves of even the strongest vampire. Eric would be his priority in most cases, but Eric is with Thranduil for now, something that gives him leave enough to focus on Seraphim.

Only after being assured that she's none the worse for wear does he go with her to collect some of her things, insisting that she remain close to him for now. She gives no protest, still shaken from her experience. Godric can feel it, the tremors along their bond less than they had been, but still not entirely settled. She likely won't be fully settled for some time yet.

[B] Once Godric is assured that Seraphim is settled nearby, he seeks out his child. Eric's emotional state has been battering him through their bond for so long that he itches to be near him, to take the pain and torment from him. Thranduil's presence is a boon, and a great comfort. He expects to find them together.

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Jack can feel the memory burst under his fingers, like a leak being sprung, while in the physical world Into begins to flail against him. He can see where this is going. He knows where it will end. He recognizes that the last thing that Ianto wants to do is relive or rewatch this, especially now. He also knows that the worst thing that he can do is to just leave it like this. Ianto might have to relive it anyway. It could be the foremost thought in his mind, until they come back to patch it up again. Or worse.

He knows Ianto wants him out now. And he told the other man to tell him when he'd had enough. But in this case... He needs to take an extra few moments to make sure he's not going to leave the place in ruins. Steeling himself, knowing a quick fix really isn't going to be ideal but it will have to do for now, Jack forces his energy over the memory, overwhelming it into a stop with a memory of his own choosing. Quick, Jack, pick just the right one. There. The night he had left Ianto the ring. It's haphazard - like a piece of tape to hold a leak in a water balloon, but it'll have to do for the moment. And then he pulls out.

It's disorienting, to come back to himself that fast, but he'll focus on him later. For now he's opening his eyes and cupping Ianto's face in his hands to get him to focus on him. "Hey," he coaxes, gently. "Look at me. You okay?"

Ianto breathes harshly, gathering himself. The memory, terrible as it is, is now just a memory. It isn't happening anymore. And it had been interrupted in a quick, almost jarring way, replaced by a much kinder memory, full of joy. It makes him dizzy, and he knows Jack must have done it somehow on his way out.

Looking at Jack, he nods. He's the only one in his mind now, and once his heart slows down, once the disorientation fades, he feels a little steadier. That memory is there though, in the peripheral vision of his mind, threatening to spill over again.

"I think so."

Jack frowns, stroking a hand through Ianto's hair. "I know you're not gonna like this one bit, but I can't just leave it like that. That memory was toxic enough, before things spilled over. That patch isn't going to hold forever and if it isn't taken care of properly, it could fester. Think like..." He struggles for the right sort of analogy. "A slow leak, I guess is the best way to describe it, only a lot more toxic, and in your head, with that memory."

He meets Ianto's eyes, honestly. "You need to let me go back in. You can take a breather for a moment, and the only thing that I need to go back in for would be that, but it's important that you let me do this if you don't want that memory to stay with you until the next time we do this."

Ianto knows his fingers must be bruising, digging into Jack as they are now, but he's frozen, unable to let up on his grip. Jack's words ring in his ears like a dark prophecy. He's shaking lightly, adrenaline running through him at either prospect available to him. To let Jack back into his mind, or to let that memory remain at the forefront of his thoughts until he can stand another session of this.

It's not contest, really, but his stomach still flips uneasily at the thought of letting Jack back in there so quickly.

"...Okay. Okay. Give me a minute? Let's stay like this for just a minute." Until he can stop shaking, at least. He focuses on the patch, the good memory, attempting to find his center of calm again. Finding the ring. The warm flutter in his belly. Sipping the ring onto his finger, his quiet exhilaration. Slowly, it begins to work.

Jack nods, moving to take Ianto in his arms, pulling him close to his chest. "Take your time," he coaxes him gently. "Take all the time you need. You're okay." He runs his hands down Ianto's back, gently. "Just the one thing, and then we can call it a day. Come back to it later." He moves to stroke a hand through Ianto's hair again, down his face, his neck.

He knows that this is a moment for Ianto to collect himself, to take a moment to himself inside his head before he lets Jack go poking around in there again, so he falls quiet, just holding him, stroking, a strong, solid presence for him to hold onto. He's hoping that memory patching trick did the trick, that it was the right choice. There were a lot of directions he could have gone, but in the end he tried to find one that would have been the most positive, with the least negatives attached to it as well.

Eventually, Ianto's fingers loosen their grip and he breathes easier. The looming panic abates, and slowly he begins to work himself up to letting Jack in his head again. He doesn't honestly feel ready, but he suspects that he won't any time soon. He'd prefer to go a few days, but this won't wait, and he'd rather get it over with.

Bracing himself, Ianto inhales deeply, taking in Jack's scent, settling deeper into his embrace.

"Okay. I'm ready."

Jack curls tighter around Ianto, tucking his head in the crook of his shoulder as he does. His fingers rub circles against Ianto's shoulderblades and he nods in return to Ianto's go-ahead.

"Okay," he replies. He knows that he doesn't have much time, even with the permission Ianto is giving him. So he descends fast to get this done right. It will, of course, mean removing the patch and putting that memory back in its rightful place. Putting the rest of the fire out with an even gentler touch than he had been using before. He does these things with the utmost caution, knowing that one wrong step could start a whole hell of trouble. It's got to be uncomfortable. This memory is ugly, in ways that Jack tries very hard not to think about.

When it is mended and uprighted, put in its place and tended to, it's still a pretty angry memory, but it's as good as it can get without time to heal it, and Jack takes a deep breath and steps back out of Ianto's mind again for the second time that night. Turning his head, he presses a kiss against Ianto's jaw before he asks, quietly, "Better?"

It's hard going, and though Jack is both skilled and gentle, the frequent touches to that memory make his heart beat faster, unsteadily, and his muscles tense. What calm he'd won before quickly begins to dissipate. He doesn't call for Jack to stop; Jack would have already left if he were done. But even though it takes only a minute, time seems to stretch on for Ianto, until he makes a noise of distress.

Before he can break down and ask Jack to stop again, Jack is suddenly gone, the memory still fresh and menacing but tucked away in its proper place. Ianto can feel that, even if he doesn't understand exactly what Jack did or how. There's so much more to fix and much more time required to heal, but his head feels a little clearer, and he's the only person left in the sanctity of his mind.

That's almost as deep a comfort as knowing there's nothing in there that shouldn't be.

"Better," he answers just as quietly, wonderingly. Then he cups Jack's face in his hands and kisses him soundly.

While as deeply entrenched in Ianto's mind, concentrating as hard as he is on what he's doing and the fragility of the task at hand, Jack barely registers the noise of distress that Ianto makes, but he can still feel it. It's a wonder that he wasn't expelled out, although Ianto did invite him in, and he's honestly not sure how much psychic training Ianto's had, what Torchwood One might have trained him in, especially as a Junior Researcher as he was. But on the outside again, Jack makes a note to touch on it, when he can. It'll be a good skill to hone, and even if Ianto might not have much in the way of offense, at least resurrecting his defenses shouldn't be a bad idea.

It's obvious that the other man is grateful, though, as he finds himself being kissed right around the time he's coming back into his own. He warms into it, moving to clutch at Ianto's shoulders, running his hands up and through his hair. He could get used to staying here, in the gardens, for a while. For as long as Ianto needs, really. It isn't exactly living rough, they've got a camp and provisions with them and can go back out to the kitchens whenever they so choose. Hell, even if it weren't that easy, he still wouldn't mind it, because he can see how grateful Ianto is for having the open air around them. And at this point, Jack would do anything for him. (Ianto might find himself with a Jack-shaped shadow, for the next while.)

"Thank you," he breathes as he breaks off. He remains curled against Jack, comfortable and comforted, stroking his fingers across Jack's features. It slowly sinks in, the enormity of what they just did, and the enormity of trust that had been involved, leaving him amazed and only a little shaken. Ianto very firmly does not want anyone playing around in his head ever again, but he can tolerate this. Jack had been so careful.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" He hopes it isn't one of those questions that Jack considers off-limits.

Where the question might have been off-limits in other contexts, Jack is feeling oddly open right now. Perhaps it is because he has just spent so much time in the private confines of Ianto's own mind, it's only fair that he give something in return. "The Academy," Jack says, softly, leaning into Ianto's touch. "I had a sort of knack for the psychic courses. Among other things." Which isn't giving much away, but considering how much he's usually said, it's saying a whole hell of a lot.

All of a sudden, it hits him how tired he is. How much that sort of thing takes out of a person, how careful he had to be while immersed in Ianto's mind, how he really has no concept of how much time has passed since he first started. He hasn't been sleeping very well lately either, not that he ever needs to sleep much. He takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, trying not to look or sound as weary as he feels - a bit closer to his real age than usual. "Some of us got special training. Didn't think much of it at the time. Comes in handy now and then, though."

"I'm glad they taught you this," he admits softly.

If they hadn't, Ianto might have gone mad. At least for a time. Even now his mind feels bruised and battered, but it's an improvement on what it had been like before. The idea of being forced to let that kind of damage heal naturally, taking the slow road, is appalling now that he knows how much intervention can help. Without it, how long would he have spent wondering how bad the damage was, or whether or not he was still being influenced somehow? Would he have ever known one way or another, or wondered his whole life if he had been irrevocably changed without his consent or knowledge?

Tangling his legs with Jack's, his eyelids begin to droop. If he doesn't notice Jack's weariness, it's only because he's suddenly so tired himself. It makes sense, of course. He's been days with only fitful, brief stints of sleep, plagued by stress and worry, and the last day had been hell. A moment's peace had been out of the question, much less sleep. And now that he's laying down, after that terrible ordeal and the tension of having Jack in his head, it's all catching up to him very quickly.

It's less than a minute before he's out completely, dead to the world.

Jack lays there holding Ianto as the other man's breathing slows and he falls into unconsciousness. There had been times over the last few days when Jack had almost let himself despair into thinking that he wouldn't ever have this moment again. That the other man would be lost to him forever, and then once Morgoth had started filling his head with those images, that he was lost to the world never mind only to Jack. To have him here again, to hold him close and listen to him breathe. It is a moment to be treasured. Jack tries hard not to think about the other similar moments he has spent, treasuring Ianto's life. He tries hard not to think about the times to come, when those moments of memory will be all he has. For now he focuses on the here and now. Ianto is safe. He is recovering, day by day. Jack himself will help him through it all. He will never let someone take him away again, not if he has any say in the matter.

Eventually, Jack's eyelids begin to sink as well. Just because he is immortal does not mean he doesn't need rest sometimes, and he's had a lot taken out of him in the past few days as well. He nuzzles closer to the other man, tightening his arms slightly, and lets the sound of Ianto's soft breathing slowly carry him away himself.

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