ataraxionlogs | thirty-first jump;

Entry tags:

thirty-first jump;

CHARACTERS: Any and all.
LOCATION: Gravity Couches and beyond.
WARNINGS: Maybe some swearing, or even some violence, and more than likely some implied (and possibly explicit) nakedness.
SUMMARY: Another month, another jump, another round of new faces.
NOTES: There is something very easy about waking from the gravcouches this month. The sensation of being watched is absent, and so is much of the sickness - even for those characters who entered Engineering in February. Instead the jump feels comfortable, the stasis fluid warm on your skin, the medbay lights not too harsh as you emerge amongst your fellow passengers. The sensation may be unnerving in its strangeness, but there will be a deep feeling of being well-rested, calm and content, that will not be completely lost no matter how much you question it.

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You wake up in darkness.

There's a breathing tube jammed down your trachea, and you're suspended in a tube of clear blue fluid. Upon registering your level of consciousness, the gravity couch drains the fluid surrounding you and retracts the breathing apparatus; the doors in front of you open, and you're deposited on the floor of a stark, sterile medical bay.

You are not alone.
There are others who have come before you, others who are awakening beside you. Some may be familiar to you, perhaps even friends. Others have much less amiable plans. Some are merely alien and inexplicable, but there are always those who might mean you harm.

After you catch your breath and your vision returns, you notice a number on the inside of your forearm. Maybe it's a familiar number. Maybe it means something. Maybe it's just a number. But the number—completely unique to you—is a tattoo, and it does not come off.

If you enter the room adjacent to the medbay, you will find a small locker with your number on it, surrounded by rows upon rows of identical lockers. Inside, you will find a few of your personal items, a communications device, and a ship's uniform in your exact size. The comms device is fully powered and connects directly to the ship's network; it's your only means of communication beyond physical conversation. Upon turning the device on, a neutral, automated voice will say, "Please take the blue lift to the passenger quarters." Any other attempts at communicating with the rest of the network are met only with static.

This is your welcome party.

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They must matter to you. [Really, she wouldn't be pushing this point so hard if she hadn't heard what she just had. If Elizabeth is right about her future- well, Galadriel knows from experience that when you have no family to care for you, you must learn to care for yourself.]

I see much that is good- and much that is not. [She gives a faint little smile] It is only natural that you should be afraid. Your people do not understand your gift and so they speak of such things only in whispers- in hushed tones around campfires. For the same reasons, I am called 'witch' and tales are told of a sorceress who lurks within the Golden Woods of Lórien, catching all who dare enter her realm within her web of spells. [For a second, her smile almost becomes a smirk- she finds those tales rather amusing, actually. But her expression quickly settles into something more serious as she continues.]

All your life, you have been told that this power you possess is unnatural- contrary to nature, perhaps. Yet how can that be so? You are a child of Eru, the One, as am I. Were we not shaped by the same hand as any other of our races? Why should you fear this part of you more than the rest?

They have never been able to; and they never will be able to if what I have heard of my future is correct. I.. confess I know not how to balance it.

I do what I must for the good of my family, as I have been expected to since I was born. But I fear it is not enough.

[ she closes her eyes, digging her fingers further into the fabric of her skirts. ] Were you afraid at the first, of the things you saw?

Yes.. my people and my religion both condemn such things. Women even so much as suspected of them are tied to stakes and burnt alive for witchcraft. And I am terrified still, because this aside, I can do other things which might hurt others if I used that power. I have tried to pretend they exist not, but yet I am assailed by visions and remember. They say that my mother's line is descended from a river goddess of Burgundy.

[ she looks up at galadriel then, for some reason drawn and lulled into trusting her with this. she does not judge; she understands. and elizabeth tries to smile, resulting in a faint shadow of one upon her lips. ] There is nothing at all fearsome about you. It.. is ever thus that people fear that which they know not.

And I know that I am guilty of it in my own case. [ but she sees death and suffering and loss and her mother uses her own power for vengeance and ambition only. i.e. the wrong reasons. it's honestly no wonder that she is terrified. ]

I have not, for none know that I possess it but for my mother and sisters. And now you, Your Grace. [ eru.. is this another name for god? it sounds a lot like it, and so she makes herself smile a bit more, nodding. ] I suppose we are; for God has many names. And the answer is simple; I understand it not. I know little of it, except that I see suffering and death and can do naught to stop it.

You have the chance now to learn. I do not suggest that you abandon your duties to your family. Far from it, but if you give of yourself and accept little in return, you will wear yourself thin.

And, yes, at first I was afraid. I remember, when I was but a young girl, being filled with a dread that I could not explain, or waking in the night, my mind filled with shadows of things to come. In time, as I learned more of myself and honed my skills, the fear lessened.

Now, I do not fear what I may see, but rather what I might do. For foresight is but one of my gifts, as you say it is but one of yours. But that is a fear I would not lose; it is best that those with power have a keen awareness of the perils of it.

But how do I do that? [ she is sharp enough to see that the solution lies not simply in forming relationships with others or letting them in. or cultivating trust, and relying upon them.

galadriel has mentioned that she needs to have things for herself. but what does this mean? she does not understand because the concept has never been taught to her. she is expected to be a good, obedient lass. and actually, she is growing tired of it, now that she thinks on it.

thankfully the topic flows back to more common ground, and she watches this woman who feels so much like a mother in silence. ]

I.. believe my grandmother knew more of the skills which her line has imparted unto us than my mother. You must know more than she. She always had such a frank, no-nonsense view of it and she was certainly never afraid. I confess I know not how to accept that which I cannot understand.

[ she glances away. ] And which I would be killed for if anyone at home knew. My sisters, too.

So, it is right to be afraid of it, then? [ her teeth bite her lip nervously and once again, she shifts under the weight of her anxiety over the topic. being still is something she cannot do right now. her eyes sting, as she feels her nails now nearly tearing at her skirts. ]

Because I am terrified! I know of no fashion my.. abilities may be used but for ill.

[ for that is all she has ever seen them used for, since she was a small child. ]

[Galadriel drops the thread of the conversation to look at Elizabeth with a much heavier gaze than she has yet set on the girl. It's a thoughtful look, as if she's searching for some answer in her face.

When she begins speaking again, it's slowly, her words picked with care.]

It would do you well, I think, to study under one who is more familiar with such things. I can promise nothing, of course- it well may be that our gifts differ too greatly for my knowledge to be of use. But if you would wish it, I would teach you.

[ elizabeth does not flinch beneath galadriel's thoughtful scrutiny. she is gauging and assessing her, she knows well from practice at court. she has been thus examined by the eyes of many a noble, and yet none have been able to see her as clearly as this great and kind lady seems to. as though she can peer inside her mind and heart and see the inner workings of both.

it should frighten her, but it does exactly the opposite. the relief that comes with not having to keep up the pretense with one person is tremendous. she relaxes, the white-knuckled grip loosening upon her skirts until her hands lay prim and harmless in her lap. and while her face is still pale, her colour is returning. her wide-eyed stare is the only thing amiss, and that is because she is surprised. ]

If so great a Lady is offering me aid, I can do no other than humbly accept it. [ she smiles faintly. ]

I would like to try.

[There is nothing faint about Galadriel's smile; she glows, obviously pleased.]

I am glad. [She spares a glance towards the door of the flet, as if she's half-expecting someone to walk in.] Our positions were reversed once, you know; I was far older, of course, had far more knowledge of my gift, but I learned much that I now know from the queen of Doriath. Her daughter is here now.

[ elizabeth has never seen anyone so beautiful, she is fairly certain. not even her mother can come close, because galadriel's loveliness is not of any world elizabeth is familiar with.

but her joy is much closer to home, and elizabeth impulsively leans up to hug her. she has battled the urge for a while, and she might (maybe) apologize for her forwardness afterward. but right now she feels like a mother, if not precisely her own, and thus exactly who and what she needs. elizabeth closes her eyes, and only releases her when she feels much of the tension ebb away from herself. ]

As am I. [ because now, maybe, she can learn how at least to avoid hurting anyone with the things she can do. and for once, she thinks better of apologizing preemptively for hugging her. she is learning. ]

It is almost impossible to imagine. You have such wisdom, Your Grace. [ she tilts her head, interested. ] I would be honoured to meet the daughter of anyone who has given you such aid.

[The hug is met with surprise, but only for a moment. Then the gesture is returned. It's rare that she is embraced; onboard, only Lúthien herself would really think to. And despite how formal she is in public, in private she has always been very affectionate with her friends and very prone to these little demonstrations. The hug is not only allowed, it is welcomed.]

You would enjoy one another's company, I believe, and it might do you both good. Lúthien is her name.

[ elizabeth cannot bring herself to apologize, because galadriel seems more than fine with being hugged like this. and elizabeth is grateful, because just now what she needs is to feel close to someone motherly. which galadriel is, nearly as much as her own mother. the same, but yet so very different.

when she finally releases her, she meets her gaze with a shy sort of daughterly fondness. ]

It is a beautiful name. Pray, what does it mean? And yours as well, if I may be so bold.

Your language is like nothing I have ever heard before.

'Lúthien' may mean 'enchantress,' though it may also be translated as 'blossom,' I believe. I am not entirely certain which was the intended meaning, though both are fitting enough.

As for my own name, 'Galadriel' is 'maiden crowned with a radiant garland.' [She smiles fondly.] In my youth, I often wore my hair in a braid wound about my head, for I was something of an athlete in those days. My husband bestowed the name upon me out of affection.

Both are so very beautiful. [ and this lady's husband is one smooth operator! the corners of her mouth twitch upward. ]

And romantic, in your case! Are the pair of you very much in love?

[ it is an innocent question, and not one she seems to find too forward to ask. one lady to another surely would not harm anything, right? she rests her head upon her bended elbow and sighs wistfully. ]

I am perhaps over-fond of takes of love. They are as beautiful dreams.

[ which she can close her eyes and escape within for a while. ]

[Not too forward for her, certainly. And Galadriel makes no secret of the answer anyway.] We are, as we have been since the world was yet young.

[The smile on her face only grows.] Oh, I do not know if one can be over-fond of such things. Tales of great battles are entertaining indeed, but far less pleasant to live. It would be better, I think, if we spoke more of the value of love and less of the glory of war.

How lovely! It must be wonderful. [ she can only imagine, after growing up watching her parents. such things are not meant for her, she has been told.

but it does not stop her from dreaming about it anyway. ]

My own parents are the stuff of faerie tales. They met by the side of the road beneath a great oak, and fell in love at first glance, so I have always been told. It is pleasant to think. They certainly could not keep their eyes from one-another as I grew.

[ elizabeth nods, smiling a little more. ] I agree, Your Grace. War is only entertaining in times of peace, when one is far-removed from calamity.

I would far rather think of love, and peace and cooperating with neighbouring nations at home so that all might grow up safe and happy.

Truthfully, I cannot now imagine my life without him. [Not that she's had much choice while she's been here, but that's beside the point.]

My own tale is not nearly so poetic. My husband and I met in the court of Doriath, we became friends, and we fell in love. Rather dull in comparison, I fear.

Not at all, Your Grace. [ in fact, it reminds her exactly of her parents. a lump of emotion clogs her throat and she pauses long enough to swallow it in order to take a steadying breath. such love, she can only dream of.

elizabeth's features form a wistful expression as she turns back to look at her. ]

That is the stuff of dreams, more like. What a beautiful tale. I thank you for sharing it with me.

You needn't thank me. It hardly seems that I told a tale at all; now I find myself tempted to tell you one more properly. [But then she sombers a little, her brow furrowing slightly as she continues to speak.] Is there no chance at all that you might be permitted to wed where you chose?

I would gladly hear any you might wish to tell.

[ lizzie shakes her head, unable to betray how torn she feels about this before one who sees her so clearly. ]

I know not if my future is set, if I will wed whom history dictates I will. But even if I did not, it would be somewhere else. It is my family's purview to marry me where they wish to make an alliance. And it would be my duty to obey.

[ but lately.. she has been getting close to someone. and she finds herself wishing she might choose for herself. ]

And what of your happiness? Does that matter so little? [She frowns and shakes her head.] I will confess, this is a custom of yours that I find difficult to understand; my people wed only for love, even the mightiest of kings.

To my family, I have begun to think so. Certainly I have been raised to put the good of the family before all else.

But I must admit that until I arrived here and met so many different people I did not think much about it. Other than that I will never marry the man who murdered my brothers.

[ the longer she spends here, the more she begins to cease to understand it, herself. just a little each month, but the tiny kernel of doubt is enough. that a lady so noble and good as galadriel should disapprove.. it makes her think. ]

Alliances for wealth and power are not of a concern to your folk, are they? They seem more important to my people. I.. do tire, of being merely a piece on the board.

We have alliances enough; they are simply made in other ways.

[And that is exactly Galadriel's problem with this concept; Elizabeth deserves to be more than a pawn.] Perhaps, then, you should learn to play the game yourself.

In what sort of ways, Your Grace?

[ elizabeth tilts her head, biting her lip. she is unsure about it. ]

But is my duty not to do as my family bids? I would learn, but. I am conflicted.

There are friendships of course, negotiations, trade, and the bonds of kinship.

[Ah- Her smile becomes a bit wry, at that.] I, perhaps, am not the one to ask of that, for the history of my family is rather singular, even in my own world. But I would say, if pressed, that you have a duty to see to the welfare of your family; it is not always the same as obedience.

Kinship.. in family or in spirit? Such agreements are typically sealed with a marriage to foster friendship and a sense of kinship between rulers.

I was betrothed to the Crown Prince of France for years. Yet immediately following my father's death, the King of France was swift to renege upon the treaty and the betrothal with it.

Might I ask how your kin's history is singular, Your Grace? [ she taps her chin in thought. ] I know not how they could not be one and the same.

Both, at times. My brothers and I were allowed many privileges in Doriath, for instance, simply because the king was our mother's uncle.

[And now we get to the darker parts of her history. She hesitates for a moment.] I told you before that I had seen my family divided, did I not? The full tale is long in the telling and I would not bore you with it, if you do not wish to hear it. Suffice it to say that some of my kin I have not seen since before the first dawning of the sun and others I saw last from the wrong end of a sword.

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